Placeholder text taken from The IT Crowd

It's like they're pally-wally with us when there's a problem with their printer, but once it's fixed... I'm going to murder you... You bloody woman! Well that's easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! ... 3! We don't need no education. Yes you do. You've just used a double negative. It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? When I started Reynholm Industries, I had just two things in my possession: a dream and 6 million pounds. How long have you been disabled? Ten years? Ten years, and how did it happen? If that's not a rude question. Acid?

A gay musical, called Gay. That's quite gay. Gay musical? Aren't all musicals gay? This must be, like, the gayest musical ever. Graphic homoeroticism? Does that mean they're going to get them out? Hello, IT. Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot? It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? You know, it's high tide. But we're not on the coast. I'm closed for maintenance! Closed for maintenance? I've fallen to the communists! Well, they do have some strong arguments. I'm a 32 year old IT-man who works in a basement. Yes, I do the whole Lonely Hearts thing! I'm going to murder you... You bloody woman!

Dear Sir stroke Madam. Fire, exclamation mark. Fire, exclamation mark. Help me, exclamation mark. 123 Carrendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss. Shut up, do what I tell you, I'm not interested; these are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. I'm an idiot and I dont care about anyone but myself. P.S. No dogs! Well that's easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! ... 3! Unbelievable! Some idiot disabled his firewall, meaning all the computers on Seven are teeming with viruses, plus I've just had to walk all the way down the motherfudging stairs, because the lifts are broken AGAIN! I've got Aunt Irma visiting. Oh, do you not like Aunt Irma? I've got an aunt like that. Yes! Yesterday's jam. That is what we are to them!... Actually, that doesn't work, as a thing, because, you know, jam lasts for ages. While he was eating, did you hear anyone laughing? Like... in the kitchen area? Yes! Yes I did, actually, yes I did. That'd be trouser food!

How long have you been disabled? Ten years? Ten years, and how did it happen? If that's not a rude question. Acid? A gay musical, called Gay. That's quite gay. Gay musical? Aren't all musicals gay? This must be, like, the gayest musical ever. I'll put this over here, with the rest of the fire. How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss! From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! You're not comfortable with your sexuality? Oh, I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, I just don't want to be slapped in the face with their sexuality. While he was eating, did you hear anyone laughing? Like... in the kitchen area? Yes! Yes I did, actually, yes I did. That'd be trouser food!

Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. No, that's the music you hear when... I'm sorry are you from the past? Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we'd be to them. You're not comfortable with your sexuality? Oh, I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, I just don't want to be slapped in the face with their sexuality. How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss! Graphic homoeroticism? Does that mean they're going to get them out? So, remember the new number! 0118 999! 88199, 9119 725! ... 3!

We don't need no education. Yes you do. You've just used a double negative. Today I have a business empire the like of which the world has never seen the like of which. I hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say that I am the greatest man in the world! They just toss us away like yesterday's jam. Dear Sir stroke Madam. Fire, exclamation mark. Fire, exclamation mark. Help me, exclamation mark. 123 Carrendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss. A story of a young man trying to find his sexuality in the uncaring Thatcher years. Warning: Contains scenes of graphic homoeroticism. It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? They just toss us away like yesterday's jam.

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