Placeholder text taken from The IT Crowd

Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of... You know, it's high tide. But we're not on the coast. I'm closed for maintenance! Closed for maintenance? I've fallen to the communists! Well, they do have some strong arguments. You can come down here any time and I'll be waiting for you! [slams down phone] That told her! He's had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man. While he was eating, did you hear anyone laughing? Like... in the kitchen area? Yes! Yes I did, actually, yes I did. That'd be trouser food! He's had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man.

No, that's the music you hear when... I'm sorry are you from the past? Yes! Yesterday's jam. That is what we are to them!... Actually, that doesn't work, as a thing, because, you know, jam lasts for ages. From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers. Oh my God! Before you brought it to their table? No, after! Of course, before! Why would I do it after? Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we'd be to them. He's had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man. Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of...

Today I have a business empire the like of which the world has never seen the like of which. I hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say that I am the greatest man in the world! OK. Moss, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Smarties cereal. I'll put this over here, with the rest of the fire. You're not comfortable with your sexuality? Oh, I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, I just don't want to be slapped in the face with their sexuality. Unbelievable! Some idiot disabled his firewall, meaning all the computers on Seven are teeming with viruses, plus I've just had to walk all the way down the motherfudging stairs, because the lifts are broken AGAIN! You can come down here any time and I'll be waiting for you! [slams down phone] That told her! No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on.

No, that's the music you hear when... I'm sorry are you from the past? Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. Carrie, Moss! First scene in Carrie! Oh. Okay How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss! You know, it's high tide. But we're not on the coast. I'm closed for maintenance! Closed for maintenance? I've fallen to the communists! Well, they do have some strong arguments. I don't see how they couldn't just keep it as it was. How hard is it to remember 911? It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend?

Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers mean they're not just the Emergency Services, they're your Emergency Services. I am a man, he's a man, we're men! Ok, tell me how your feeling. I feel delicate... and annoyed, and... I think I'm ugly. Shut up, do what I tell you, I'm not interested; these are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. I'm an idiot and I dont care about anyone but myself. P.S. No dogs! It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? While he was eating, did you hear anyone laughing? Like... in the kitchen area? Yes! Yes I did, actually, yes I did. That'd be trouser food! We don't need no education. Yes you do. You've just used a double negative. Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Well that's easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! ... 3! We don't need no education. Yes you do. You've just used a double negative. I'm a 32 year old IT-man who works in a basement. Yes, I do the whole Lonely Hearts thing! OK. Moss, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Smarties cereal. Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. Oh my God. I didn't even know Smarties made a cereal. They don't. It's just Smarties in a bowl with milk. Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble.

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